PLEASE, GOD, FULLNESS

Oh, the Hunger! But what is hunger? What is hunger to an infant as it is to me? Or to a spider. You know, the ones who eat their partner? Is this the same hunger as my all consuming desire to be loved, which eats away at me little by little, waiting for the day I can no longer resist my carnal desire for… something? I turn to God to beg for fullness, to fill my mind with purity as this all consuming insatiable hunger rings in my skull and pulls on my bones. Pulling me apart…. slowly. And maybe one day, there will be none of me left. Just the aching fragments of what was once a soul which was left to starve for too long. A soul which went wrinkled black rotten. I am cursed by hunger. Perversion. A carnal desire. Oh, the Hunger! I am starving and this insatiable craving for something is leaving me hollow and my insides are a cavity going rotten. And oh, I ache. This desire for fullness is eating away at me and eating and eating and I am oh-so-eager to love. To love and to consume like a black widow. But I am too starved so I go to church and I eat the bread, the body, the blood, and I wait. God, oh, the hunger! Why aren’t you answering me? Oh, won’t you eat me?

Lotte, 17, Lisbon

A student who is obsessed with philosophy, film and tea.